The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.
It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.
Harry S. Truman
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failures.