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I know three things will never be believed - the true, the probable, and the logical.

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics.

Benjamin Disraeli

Love was a dirty trick played on us to achieve the continuation of the species.

William Somerset Maugham

I became a policeman because I wanted to be in a business where the customer is always wrong.

Remember when life's path is steep to keep your mind even.

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