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My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.

Walter Matthau       
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they are in August.

Ronnie Shakes       
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Erma Bombeck       
Anton Chekhov
Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

Anton Chekhov       
Steve Martin©
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

Steve Martin       
Ambrose Bierce
A grave is a place where the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

Ambrose Bierce       






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