Mark Twain Quotes

Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement.
Mark Twain

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
Mark Twain

What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
Mark Twain

Only one thing, is impossible for god: to find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
Mark Twain

Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself.
Mark Twain

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Mark Twain

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
Mark Twain

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Mark Twain