P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

People shouldn't be treated like objects. They aren't that valuable.
P. J. O'Rourke

Traffic is like a bad dog. It isn't important to look both ways when crossing the street. It's more important to not show fear.
P. J. O'Rourke

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relation. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing, too.
P. J. O'Rourke

Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals when their cheery effect is needed.
P. J. O'Rourke

Parents should be given only a modest and sensible allowance. And they should be encouraged to save up for things. This builds character. It also helps pay for the funeral.
P. J. O'Rourke

Bureaucratic time, which is slower than geologic time but more expensive than time spent with Madame Claude's girls in Paris.
P. J. O'Rourke

Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.
P. J. O'Rourke