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Ambrose Bierce
Peace: In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.

Ambrose Bierce       
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Jackie Mason       
Mark Twain
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Mark Twain       
Henry Ford
Quality means doing it right when no one is looking.

Henry Ford       
Stephen Leacock
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

Stephen Leacock       
Ambrose Bierce
Marriage: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.

Ambrose Bierce       



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