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Woody Allen©
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Woody Allen       
Anyone who eats three meals a day should understand why cookbooks outsell sex books three to one.

L. M. Boyd       
P. J. O'Rourke©
Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.

P. J. O'Rourke       
Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.

Bill Vaughan       
Clint Eastwood©
It's not the kind of movie [True Crime,1999] they're doing today, you know - it's hampered by having a story. But I think there's somebody out there who appreciates that, so I'll keep on trying.

Clint Eastwood       



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