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Woody Allen©
Last night I discovered a new form of oral contraceptive. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no.

Woody Allen       
Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

Homer Simpson       
Albert Einstein
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.

Albert Einstein       
I date this girl for two years, and then the nagging starts: 'I wanna know your name!'

Mike Binder       
Mark Twain
Only one thing, is impossible for god: to find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Mark Twain       
Mae West
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Mae West       



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