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Humor quotes

59 quotes about humor


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My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Eric Morecambe       
Mark Twain
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

Mark Twain       
Hunter S. Thompson©
A cap of good acid costs five dollars and for that you can hear the Universal Symphony with God singing solo and Holy Ghost on drums.

Hunter S. Thompson       
If at first you don't succeed... So much for skydiving.

Henry Youngman       
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.

Walter Matthau       
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.

Charles Lamb       



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