Humor quotes

194 quotes about humor


If at first you don't succeed... So much for skydiving.

Henry Youngman       
Woody Allen©
Last night I discovered a new form of oral contraceptive. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no.

Woody Allen       
I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!

Homer Simpson       
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Erma Bombeck       
Mae West
Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

Mae West       
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

Steven Wright       

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