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Humor quotes

194 quotes about humor


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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.

Robert Orben       
Hey, can you take the wheel for a second, I have to scratch my self in two places at once.

Homer Simpson       
Dustin Hoffman©
Next to that kid, we all look like onions.

Dustin Hoffman       
Jonathan Swift
If a lump of soot falls into the soup and you cannot conveniently get it out, stir it well in and it will give the soup a French taste.

Jonathan Swift       
Alfred Hitchcock
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

Alfred Hitchcock       
Anyone who eats three meals a day should understand why cookbooks outsell sex books three to one.

L. M. Boyd       



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