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David Letterman
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

David Letterman       
Never eat more than you can lift.

Miss Piggy       
Dustin Hoffman©
Next to that kid, we all look like onions.

Dustin Hoffman       
Jonathan Swift
If a lump of soot falls into the soup and you cannot conveniently get it out, stir it well in and it will give the soup a French taste.

Jonathan Swift       
Anyone who eats three meals a day should understand why cookbooks outsell sex books three to one.

L. M. Boyd       
There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.

Bart Simpson       






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