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I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!

Homer Simpson       
Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.

Homer Simpson       
Margaret Thatcher©
I'm back... and you knew I was coming. On my way here I passed a cinema with the sign 'The Mummy Returns'.

Margaret Thatcher       
I became a policeman because I wanted to be in a business where the customer is always wrong.

Unknown       
A fat woman came into the shoe store today. Wanted a pair of shoes for a christmas party. I told her to stand on her hands, put a star in her butt and go as the world's largest, ugliest tree!

Al Bundy       
George Bernard Shaw
I often quote myself. I find it adds spice to the conversation.

George Bernard Shaw       






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