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If there's one thing I've learned, it's that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

Homer Simpson       
Mark Twain
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Mark Twain       
Bob Hope
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.

Bob Hope       
Charlie Chaplin
One of the things most quickly learned in theatrical work is that people as a whole get satisfaction from seeing the rich get the worst of things. The reason for this, of course, lies in the fact that nine tenths of the people in the world are poor, and secretly resent the wealth of the other tenth.

Charlie Chaplin       



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