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I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

Marie Corelli       
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Jackie Mason       
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

Elayne Boosler       
Neil Armstrong
That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.

Neil Armstrong       
A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it off.

Robert Paul       
Lewis Carroll
Brave men are all vertebrates; they have their softness on the surface and their toughness in the middle.

Lewis Carroll       



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