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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Jackie Mason       
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

Elayne Boosler       
I don't want any yes men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth - even if it costs him his job.

Samuel Goldwyn       
Neil Armstrong
That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.

Neil Armstrong       
A successful man is one who can earn more money than his wife can possibly spend. A successful woman is one who can find that man.

Unknown       
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

Rowan Atkinson       






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