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Mark Twain quotes

37 quotes by Mark Twain



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Mark Twain
What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.

Mark Twain       
Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of congress. But I repeat myself.

Mark Twain       
Mark Twain
Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement.

Mark Twain       
Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Mark Twain       
Mark Twain
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Mark Twain       
Mark Twain
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

Mark Twain       



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