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Johnny Carson
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

Johnny Carson       
P. J. O'Rourke©
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

P. J. O'Rourke       
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
The person who has lived the most is not the one with the most years but the one with the richest experiences.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau       
Ambrose Bierce
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Ambrose Bierce       
Ambrose Bierce
Hand: A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.

Ambrose Bierce       
Jack Sparrow©
Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.

Jack Sparrow       



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