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Douglas Adams©
Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own set of laws.

Douglas Adams       
Steve Martin©
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

Steve Martin       
Mark Twain
There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press.

Mark Twain       
Earl Warren
I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failures.

Earl Warren       
In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

Yakov Smirnoff       
Will Rogers
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Will Rogers       



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