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I wish the world was a fly and I'm a giant rolled up newspaper.

Al Bundy       
Earl Warren
I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failures.

Earl Warren       
David Letterman
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

David Letterman       



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