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Ambrose Bierce
Wedding: A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.

Ambrose Bierce       
Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

Homer Simpson       
What if you're a really good person, but you get into a really, really bad fight and your leg gets gangrene and it has to be amputated. Will it be waiting for you in heaven?

Bart Simpson       
An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.

Irv Kupcinet       
Woody Allen©
If my films make even one more person feel miserable, I'll feel I've done my job.

Woody Allen       
Katharine Hepburn
I'm a personality as well as an actress. Show me an actress who isn't a personality, and you'll show me a woman who isn't a star.

Katharine Hepburn       






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