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It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

Mark Twain, 11/30/1835 - 04/21/1910
US author

Having smoking and non-smoking sections in the same room is like having urinating and non-urinating sections in a swimming pool.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

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