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One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Mark Twain, 11/30/1835 - 04/21/1910
US author

Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.

Barbara Bush

When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood.

Sam Ewing

There are three reasons why lawyers are replacing rats as laboratory research animals. One is that they are plentiful, another is that lab assistants don't get so attached to them and the third is that they will do things that you just can't get rats to do.

Blanche Knott

What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.

Mark Twain

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