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What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

Mark Twain, 11/30/1835 - 04/21/1910
US author

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

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