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Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's a pretty good empty experience.

Woody Allen, 12/01/1935 -
US writer, actor and director

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.

Okay, brain. You don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's get through this thing and then I can continue killing you with beer.

Last night I discovered a new form of oral contraceptive. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

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