| I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.
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Edit quoteSimilar quotesI take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman 
It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!
Richard Jeni 
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates 
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Oscar Wilde 
A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
Joey Adams
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