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I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!

Homer Simpson       
Wait a minute. I'm a guy like me!

Homer Simpson       
Okay, brain. You don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's get through this thing and then I can continue killing you with beer.

Homer Simpson       
I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!

Bart Simpson       
Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

Homer Simpson       
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get.

Homer Simpson       



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