I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failures.
Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get.
The trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they do not know the game.