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If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

Abraham Lincoln

Marriage: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.

Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

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