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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.

Robert Orben       
Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

Homer Simpson       
Regret is useless in life. It's in the past. All we have is now.

Marlon Brando       
Ilie Nastase©
I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.

Ilie Nastase       
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Eric Morecambe       
Albert Einstein
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

Albert Einstein       






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