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Orson Welles
There are three intolerable things in life - cold coffee, lukewarm champagne, and overexcited women.

Orson Welles       
Agatha Christie
Every woman should marry an archaeologist because she grows increasingly attractive to him as she grows increasingly to resemble a ruin.

Agatha Christie       
A fat woman came into the shoe store today. Wanted a pair of shoes for a christmas party. I told her to stand on her hands, put a star in her butt and go as the world's largest, ugliest tree!

Al Bundy       
When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross.

Dirty Harry       
Winston Churchill
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Winston Churchill       
Woody Allen©
My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.

Woody Allen       






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