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Woody Allen quotes

12 quotes by Woody Allen


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Woody Allen©
Last night I discovered a new form of oral contraceptive. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no.

Woody Allen       
Woody Allen©
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

Woody Allen       
Woody Allen©
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

Woody Allen       
Woody Allen©
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

Woody Allen       
Woody Allen©
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

Woody Allen       
Woody Allen©
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded, dead.

Woody Allen       



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