Quote 127
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Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals when their cheery effect is needed.
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A fat woman came into the shoe store today. Wanted a pair of shoes for a christmas party. I told her to stand on her hands, put a star in her butt and go as the world's largest, ugliest tree!
Al Bundy
Parents should be given only a modest and sensible allowance. And they should be encouraged to save up for things. This builds character. It also helps pay for the funeral.
P. J. O'Rourke