Similar quotesI'm not feeling very well, I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
Groucho Marx 
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Erma Bombeck 
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.
Walter Matthau 
Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
Mitch Hedberg 
Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.
Anton Chekhov 