I've been on a calendar but I have never been on time. I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late. My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil. I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host. 
