Quotes - P. J. O'Rourke


 


Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals when their cheery effect is needed.

P. J. O'Rourke
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P. J. O'Rourke
Image CC-BY-SA
by Cato Institute
via Wikimedia
There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

P. J. O'Rourke
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P. J. O'Rourke
To mistrust science and deny the validity of the scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You'd better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.

P. J. O'Rourke
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P. J. O'Rourke
A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relation. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing, too.

P. J. O'Rourke
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P. J. O'Rourke
Parents should be given only a modest and sensible allowance. And they should be encouraged to save up for things. This builds character. It also helps pay for the funeral.

P. J. O'Rourke
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P. J. O'Rourke
Bureaucratic time, which is slower than geologic time but more expensive than time spent with Madame Claude's girls in Paris.

P. J. O'Rourke
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P. J. O'Rourke
Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.

P. J. O'Rourke
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P. J. O'Rourke


P. J. O'Rourke QuotesQuotes 6 - 12 of 12