Quotes - P. J. O'Rourke


 


People shouldn't be treated like objects. They aren't that valuable.


P. J. O'Rourke
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P. J. O'Rourke
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Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals when their cheery effect is needed.

P. J. O'Rourke
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P. J. O'Rourke
A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relation. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing, too.

P. J. O'Rourke
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P. J. O'Rourke
To mistrust science and deny the validity of the scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You'd better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.

P. J. O'Rourke
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P. J. O'Rourke
Parents should be given only a modest and sensible allowance. And they should be encouraged to save up for things. This builds character. It also helps pay for the funeral.

P. J. O'Rourke
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P. J. O'Rourke
Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.

P. J. O'Rourke
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P. J. O'Rourke
Bureaucratic time, which is slower than geologic time but more expensive than time spent with Madame Claude's girls in Paris.

P. J. O'Rourke
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P. J. O'Rourke


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