Homer Simpson Quotes

Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get.

Where's the "Any" key?

When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

Hey, can you take the wheel for a second, I have to scratch my self in two places at once.

A big mountain of sugar is too much for one man. I can see now why God portions it out in those little packets.

Wait a minute. I'm a guy like me!

I know someone holier than Jesus. (Flanders)

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